Not Another Onesie: A Registry That Actually Supports Birthing Parents 🤍
A doula's guide to building a registry that centres the person doing the growing, birthing, and recovering - not just the baby.
A familiar scene:
The baby shower is over. The nursery is stocked. There are 97 onesies — washed, and carefully folded in the drawer, three swaddle sets (still in packaging), and a wipe warmer somebody's mother-in-law insisted on. The baby has STUFF (lots of stuff). Nesting = complete?
And then it's three days postpartum, and you’re sitting on the couch, in-love, exhausted, healing, and hungry — with an empty freezer, no real plan for meals, and no one with free hands to help fold the growing mountain of laundry 🫠
We've built an entire cultural script around the baby registry and baby shower, and somewhere along the way we forgot that the person growing, birthing, and feeding this baby is also going through one of the most physically and emotionally demanding transitions of their life. And they deserve to be on the registry, too.
This is a piece I've wanted to write for a long time. Not to tell you not to register for baby stuff — of course register for baby stuff — but to gently shift the frame.
What if the registry could be one of the first places we love the parents too?
Why the baby-only registry quietly fails new parents
It’s no secret — the postpartum period can be a raw, and challenging time.
Postpartum recovery, at an absolute minimum, is six weeks of physical healing. For many folks it's much longer. There's bleeding for weeks. There are hormone shifts big enough to make you cry at commercials (or that your sandwich doesn’t taste the way you’d hoped). There's healing from tearing, or from a surgical birth. There's the enormous learning curve of feeding a baby — whether that's feeding from your body, pumping, formula, or some combination — and all the physical toll that comes with it. There's sleep deprivation that would be classified as torture in other context.
And what we've built the baby shower and baby registry around is… a stroller 🫠
Many cultures around the world have known for centuries that the postpartum window is sacred, and that the birthing person needs to be nourished, protected, and cared for in specific, structured ways. La cuarentena in Latin American traditions. Zuo yuezi — sitting the month — in Chinese tradition. The forty-day rest is common across many South Asian, Middle Eastern, and African cultures. The individual practices vary, but the underlying wisdom is the same: the birthing person needs care, and that care is a communal responsibility.
Somewhere in our modern, North American baby-shower culture, that wisdom got lost.
If I could re-shape the baby registry mold, this is how I could do it. The parent-first registry covers three stages, and the gifts you actually need in each one are wildly different from what our $60-Billion+ North American baby products industry would have you believing you need.
Stage 1: Pregnancy & Birth Prep
The gifts that carry you throughout pregnancy and towards birth — not overlooking this transformative right of passage.
The third trimester is a strange, powerful, and often overwhelming stretch. Your body is doing the biggest work it's ever done. You're processing information about labour, birth options, pain support, your care team, and possible interventions. Most of the products marketed to you in this phase are either baby stuff disguised as pregnancy gifts, or niche baby gear marketed to solve future problems you didn’t know even existed (and you may never have). I see you “Anti-Colic” baby bottles 🤨
This is where I’m so, so excited to talk about The Midwife Box.
The Birth Box (built for the third trimester and birth itself) is one of the most genuinely useful, and heart-centred gifts I've come across in this space — and I don't say that lightly. It was created by Kate Fawcett, a working Canadian Midwife, who built it out of frustration with the sample-sized, gimmicky "pregnancy boxes" that don't actually carry a person through anything. Every single item in this box is full-sized, holistic, and (this is the part I LOVE) sourced primarily from Canadian, women-owned small businesses.
Here's what's inside, and why each piece feels so intentional from a Doula and Childbirth Educator’s lens:
The book.“The Midwife Box: Birth Guide” by Midwife Box Founder (and Midwife), Kate Fawcett. Over 100 pages of midwife-written education covering everything from recognizing early vs. active labour, to pain support tools, to birth options (hospital, home, water), to preparing for VBAC, and tools for partners - so they can really show up in the room. It’s relatable and easy-reading, a great resource to have in your bag to reference back to. As someone who teaches childbirth education for a living — I don't say that flippantly. This book is gold!
Labour essential oil blend. A thoughtful blend designed to encourage relaxation, ease tension, and support focus during contractions. Learning about which oils can support labour and which can hinder it, can be a big task — having a curated labour-specific blend takes the guesswork out.
Labour comb. This is one of the most simple, but effective comfort tools in my doula bag! If you’re not familiar with a labour comb, the concept centres around the pain gateway theory — which suggests that your brain can only process so many “pain signals” at one time. Gripping the teeth of the comb activates pressure points in the hand that help defer pain signals and give the mind something else to focus on (besides the sensations of your contractions). I’ve also witnessed that it gives my clients somewhere to put their tension — they relax their neck, their shoulders, their hips and glutes and instead, put the tension into their hands and the comb. If you know me, I love a simple tool that does big things, and this is it.
Bush Berry Raspberry Leaf & Mint Tea. Traditionally used in the third trimester to support the uterine tone in preparation for birth. Beautiful and nourishing ritual for the last few weeks of pregnancy.
Canadian Wildflower Honey. A quick, easily absorbed energy source for labour — because labour is hard work, and staying fuelled is crucial. Bonus: put some in the aforementioned tea for an extra treat!
Padsicle Starter Pack - Cooling Perineal Spray & Joni Bamboo Pads. Cooling, soothing homemade padsicles can be a game-changer in those first days of postpartum recovery. The perineal spray and Joni bamboo-pads are eco-friendly, low-tox essentials for your most sensitive parts.
Tallow Belly Balm. For nourishing skin that's stretching and growing in the final weeks. A small self-care ritual that can help ease that itchy, tight feeling in those final weeks.
Camomile Soap. Handmade, gentle enough for a healing body and delicate newborn skin.
Small (but mighty) comfort items. A hair tie, lip balm, and silicone hydration straw — the tiny things that are the difference between being comfortable in labour and sweaty hair stuck to your forehead. The little details that someone who's actually attended births would think to include.
The reason I was drawn to The Midwife Box is that it isn't a gift-shop assembly of things that look pretty on Instagram, or the top-rated baby products on Amazon. It's an intentional toolkit, curated with love by someone who knows what it is to hold people through this season and through birth, and every item is there because it earned its place.
At $169 CAD with free shipping across Canada, it's also priced to be a completely realistic registry item - the kind that one thoughtful friend, or a small group of co-workers, can easily gift.
If you feel called to add any of the boxes from The Midwife Box collection to your registry, or give one to someone you love, use code LAINE10 for $10 off any box.
If someone is only going to give one gift for this stage, this is what I'd point them to.
Looking for other ideas for a parent-first registry? Here are some other ideas I love:
A really good water bottle (with 👏 a 👏 straw 👏) — growing a human, birthing a human, and feeding one is thirsty work
A gift certificate for a Prenatal Massage with an RMT
A Childbirth Education Class — my Virtual 1:1 Childbirth Education + Birth Planning is designed exactly for this, and travels with you whether you're giving birth in Nelson, or Niagara Falls
Prenatal Yoga Class Series
A Birth Photographer (yes, that's me too - but even if it's not, hire someone. You won’t regret it 😍)
Stage 2: Postpartum Nourishment & Recovery
The gifts for the 4th Trimester — the one that so often gets overlooked.
If Stage 1 is about preparing, Stage 2 is about being held and healing. And this is where most registries miss the mark entirely, because everyone's attention has moved to the baby.
The single biggest predictor of how someone feels in those early weeks postpartum, in my experience, is whether they felt cared for and looked after. It’s not a nice-to-have. It’s fundamental.
Registry gifts that actual nourish:
Postpartum Meal Delivery Service. Meal delivery services vary region-to-region, but the intention remains the same. Easy to prepare, or warm and nourishing for postpartum recovery - look for options for meal delivery with Traditional Chinese Medicine influence, warming foods, and lactation-supportive ingredients.
A Meal Train. Free (plus the cost of food and your time), low-tech, and HIGH-impact. Platforms like Meal Train let friends and family sign up for specific dates, so you're not eating the same soup six nights in a row. Bonus points if family and friends focus on nourishing, warming postpartum foods, like the ones in The First Forty Days or The Nourished Mother cookbooks.
Freezer meal prep from a local chef or catering company. In Nelson and the Kootenays, ask around — there are people who do this work quietly and with so much care.
The Midwife Box's Postpartum Box. For a follow-up gift or a Stage 2 anchor, Kate also makes a Postpartum Box focused on healing and recovery in the Fourth Trimester.
Recovery and body care gifts:
Pelvic Floor Physiotherapy — this one deserves its own post. In Canada, pelvic floor physio is often covered by extended health benefits, and in the US many insurance plans cover it too. So many pregnant folks don’t know it exists, and everyone who's had a baby needs it. A gift certificate for an initial assessment is one of the most impactful things you can put on a registry. (Looking for Pelvic Floor PT in Nelson? Check out Laurie or Joanie 👏)
Postnatal RMT Massage — the sooner in the postpartum window, the better. (Shout-out to my girl, Sarah @ Alpine Prenatal in Nelson, BC)
Acupuncture — deeply supportive for recovery, hormone balance, and (if relevant) milk supply.
Chiropractic and Craniosacral Therapy — for both the parent and the baby.
Stage 3: Hands & Hours
The gift of someone else doing something so you don't have to.
This is the most underrated category on any registry. Everyone wants to give a thing (and usually the expensive thing the other people look at and go “ooooooh!”). Almost no one thinks to give the gift of time - but hours and extra hands are what a new family often needs.
Postpartum doula hours. A gift certificate, or a group of friends pooling to gift a package of visits. A postpartum doula in your home for a few hours a week for the first month is transformative. They prepare meals, hold the baby while you nap, answer feeding questions, tidy the kitchen, help with older siblings - whatever needs doing.
House cleaning service. One deep clean before your baby arrives, plus a subscription of bi-weekly cleans for the first three months. If someone in your life is capable of giving this, ask for it. This will save your sanity (and possible your relationship 😅).
A lactation consultant (IBCLC) session. These are one of the highest-impact gifts possible. A single hour with a good IBCLC can change the course of an entire feeding journey. Book in-person locally, or virtually through online IBCLC services.
Overnight doula support/night nanny. Even one or two nights of overnight help in the first few weeks can meaningfully shift how someone experiences early postpartum. Expensive, but a beautiful group gift.
Grocery and laundry services. The most understated, but luxurious postpartum gift is not having to go through the production of getting yourself (diaper et all) and baby (diaper et all) out to the store to go and buy more diapers…
The harder-part: How to actually ask for these gifts (without feeling weird about it)
I hear this concern all the time: "Is it rude to ask for a meal instead of a onesie?". I get it — we’re Canadian — we’re nice and gracious.
No. I’ll say it again — no! And I'd argue the opposite: being specific about what you actually need is a gift to the Gift Giver, because it takes the guesswork out of it. Nobody wants to spend money on something that ends up in a drawer, or gets worn once (or never) and spit-up on.
A few practical ways to structure it:
Use a service-friendly registry. Babylist and MyRegistry (among others) support cash contributions toward specific goals (meals, doula hours, cleaning services). Frame each one clearly: "Fund a postpartum doula visit — $85 covers 3 hours of in-home postpartum support."
Write your registry description out loud. Something like: "We're so grateful to have everything baby needs already. What would mean the world to us right now is help through the postpartum stretch. If you're looking for a gift, we've added meals, recovery support, and hands-on help to our registry — and none of it is too small or too big."
Redirect gently, in the moment. When your aunt asks what you need, don't say "oh, anything." Say: "Honestly? A meal in the freezer would mean everything. Or if you'd want to gift a house cleaning, that's on our registry too." People want to help — they just don't know how.
Ask that people not bring physical gifts to your shower. Having a gift-free baby shower takes the pressure off others to feel like they need to “perform” gifting in front of others. If people want to send you a physical gift from your registry, they ship it directly to your home. Added bonus: more time at your shower to spend with your people and less time awkwardly opening gifts while people stare at you 😳 (or maybe that’s just me).
Ask specifically, ask warmly. The people who genuinely want to support you will appreciate that you did 🤍
The Reframe
Now, let’s come back to that familiar scene from the beginning of this article — a new parent, three days postpartum, in love, but exhausted, and depleted.
Now imagine them with a freezer full of meals someone else cooked 🙌 A pelvic floor physio appointment already booked for week four. 🙌
Weekly postpartum doula visits booked for the next 8-weeks 🙌 Padsicles ready in the freezer, the book she read all through her third trimester within arm's reach 🙌 A house cleaner coming Thursday 🙌A solid 5-hour stretch of sleep because a night doula helped with the 2AM feed 🙌
That’s the registry I would be so thrilled to see more of.
Your baby is so loved already. Every single onesie is a small act of love. The nursery is beautiful, the swaddle sets will get used, the fancy electric baby nail file — well, maybe not the nail file.
But the registry can be one of the first places we love the parents, too.
If you'd like to gift or add The Midwife Box to your registry, use code LAINE10 for $10 off your first box. It's Canadian-made, midwife-designed, sourced from women-owned small businesses across the country — and it's the first gift I'd send to anyone in their third trimester.
Have you built a parent-first registry? I'd love to hear what was on it — leave a comment below, or share this post with anyone who's planning a baby shower or building their own baby registry. Let’s flip the script.
Laine Ferguson is a Birth Doula, Childbirth Educator, and Birth Photographer based in Nelson, BC. She offers Virtual 1:1 Childbirth Education & Birth Planning anywhere in Canada, and provides local birth support, birth photography, and birth pool/equipment rentals throughout Nelson and the West Kootenays. Follow @thebirthlaine on Instagram, or book a free consultation call to learn more.If you’d like to learn more about The Midwife Box, visit themidwifebox.com or find them on Instagram @themidwifebox. Use discount code LAINE10 for $10 off your first box — for yourself, or to gift.
A small note before you go: This article contains a referral code for The Midwife Box that may earn me a small commission, at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services that I have used, tested, purchased myself, or regularly recommend to my doula clients.
